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Post by Dunwik on Aug 5, 2021 20:24:53 GMT
THE WEEKLY INFORMER - REQUIRED READING FOR THE CREDULOUS INVESTOR - SERVING THE SHREWD DUNWIKKI FOR 50 YEARS.
The Fifth Of August, 70
IN INVESTMENT NEWS
Markets are booming at this time, with the ambitious and interventionist hand of Grand Chairman Nelson providing us with a wealth of foreign business and goods. Of particular note - mining corporations have seen a near five percent increase in stock price due to lucrative dealings with the Republic Of Tomor. Other markets continue strong, with substantial growth reported from Holt Chemical Works with the recent invention of their wonder drug - methamphetamine. Another particularly well off market is Pearson And Co. Shipwrights. The brilliance of Percival Clarke in diplomacy has lead once more towards booming markets.
IN SCIENTIFIC NEWS
The death of Oscar Wright put a damper on the spirit of progress this week. Wright, aged 35, perished in a prototype heavier-than-air flying machine. He is survived by his widow, Martha Wright, and his two sons, Walter and Simon Wright.
Psychologist Henry Wheeler has claimed to have invented a test to measure intelligence. This g test has entered trials, being applied alongside phrenology in both schools, prisons, and boardrooms all across the nation to truly determine the efficacy of both systems.
Geologist Alfred Hess, working in the region of Tomor, has invented a machine to generate electricity from natural geological processes, but claims that such devices are unsuited to Dunwikki geology. For now, he remains in Tomor, displacing their native coal power plants with his geothermal electrical machine.
IN LOCAL NEWS
The Grand Chairman and his entire Cabinet have made a round denunciation of the foreign ideology known as Communism. Poorly understood and originating from the region of Rodina, there are few translations of its manifesto, but the office of Minister Of The Interior Maxwell Haig has promised to provide us with an explanation of what this ideology is - and why its adoption would surely lead to ruin! Stay posted!
IN FOREIGN NEWS
The protest of our most enlightened Technocracy towards the unfairness of international treaty has yet to have any formal response from any other nation.
Lucrative trade deals have been negotiated with Tomor but as of yet there has been no negotiation with major powers.
Rumors of a massive deal of some kind in the docks of Miskatonic are still being investigated by our shrewd reporters. Currently, such rumors are mere hearsay.
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Post by tomor on Aug 5, 2021 21:26:37 GMT
*King Tomor sends an letter of complaint about the miss naming of the Heel republic and the Region of Tomor actually being the Heel Peninsula."
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Post by Dunwik on Aug 14, 2021 1:19:24 GMT
THE WEEKLY INFORMER - REQUIRED READING FOR THE CREDULOUS INVESTOR - SERVING THE SHREWD DUNWIKKI FOR 50 YEARS
The 13th Of August, 70
Publisher's Note: The last edition was posted a day early, for early work is good work.
Publisher's Note: Our fine newspaper has been subject to a personal retraction by the King of the Heel Republic, which we erroneously have denoted as "Tomor". Upon proper translation of our sources, "Tomor" is the name of their leader, the area is known as the Heel Republic. We at the Weekly Informer apologize for our oversight.
IN INVESTMENT NEWS
New territories mean new opportunities, and the Grand Chairman has been far more expansionistic than his predecessors. This increase of new land has brought new profits to several industries, particularly coal, copper, zinc, tin, rubber, and timber distributors, as they have new mines to operate from. The gold market has expanded slightly more slowly than initial projections, but should reach the estimated market cap soon. Rand Steelworks has announced the opening of a new refinery near the Plateau Of Leng - Keep an eye on this one!
Eisen Uranium Mines have shown the wonders of uranium glass, and this strange material, and the relatively unknown phenomenon of Uranic Rays is still being explored. See our Scientific News section for more!
Whale oil prices continue to fall with demand - sell your stocks now!
IN SCIENTIFIC NEWS
The element "Dunwikkium" has been discovered by the husband-and-wife team of Peter and Mary Cury. By studying uranic rays, which they insist on calling "radiative waves", the two claim to have isolated something entirely new. More will be revealed in our interview with them next week.
This has otherwise a slow week for the development of science and technology, without many major breakthroughs announced. The electrification of Dunwik is proceeding smoothly, however. The use of electric rather than oil lighting is sending the last whalers out of business, however.
IN LOCAL NEWS
The identity of "Communism" has been formally disclosed to us by the Ministry Of The Interior, for use in education of this new threat. Communism is the belief in a stateless, moneyless, classless society, at the end of things, whereupon everyone is given an exactly equal dole of basic foodstuffs - just the bare minimum to survive, is the estimation of the Minister Of The Interior. Under this oppressive system, innovation is stomped flat, as there would be no reason to improve or explore - one would receive the same dole whether a genius or defective. Neither would any real economy be possible without money - a coin is a token of agreed upon value. Without money, any value is purely subjective, and no proper negotiations could take place. One would be reduced to barter or theft.
IN FOREIGN NEWS
The Imperium Divinum and the Sadalen have signed a non-aggression pact with a marriage between two royals. The current identity of these nobility to be wed is unknown.
The ID and Sadalen have been rivals for quite some time, and their cohort states would be drawn into any war between them. Let there be peace in our time.
The Republic Of Heel have sent out requests for shipbuilders to test their vessels against one another in Heelish waters, for the privilege of constructing their own fleet.
The Sadalen have sent ultimatum to the Republic Of Heel, demanding they sign the Treaty Of Morthal or be expelled from their protection. The Heel Republic have declared their independence from Sadalen in response, further declaring that Sadalen ships will be subject to fines if they sail through Heelish water. This of course, will seriously escalate tensions between the two nations - and with The Imperium Divinum no longer a major threat to the Sadalen with their new non-aggression pact, military intervention is plausible.
The Sheenish Election is underway. Recently, their Metropolitan Party has lost a large amount of support, proving always that the fickle whims of the masses can break an entire country, if they are given the levers of power.
Grand Chairman Nelson himself showed his business cunning by orchestrating the purchase of territory from Sheen. In exchange for only a pittance of money, paid out over a decade, and the promise that Sheenish vessels may conduct their business in those waters unhindered, he has seized extremely strategically important land and, in another twist, opened their markets to our goods wholly.
THE MORNING LEADER - LITTLE TIPS TO START YOUR BUSINESS
What employees need more than anything else is structure and order. Never conduct oneself without first having a firm framework to base your decisions off of. There is a time for boldness, but there is never a time for sloppiness!
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Post by Dunwik on Aug 20, 2021 20:46:45 GMT
THE WEEKLY INFORMER - REQUIRED READING FOR THE CREDULOUS INVESTOR - SERVING THE SHREWD DUNWIKKI FOR 50 YEARS
The Twentieth Of August, 70
IN INVESTMENT NEWS
Hopes are high for Edson Electric's geo-electrical plant demonstration in the lands of Heel, and investment has been high. Edson's claims of fully electrifying everything are grand - but have merit. Already, lighting has been completely replaced and electricity can be used to drive motors. Some inventors claim that the era of the horse is coming to a close - the machine shall replace the horse.
The merger between Handful Of Pennies and Global Theaters has gone on as expected. Now cornering nearly a third of all opera houses, this juggernaut seems poised to dominate the market for the foreseeable future.
IN SCIENTIFIC NEWS
The continued adoption of the Vacuum Flask may render all matter of heating implements obsolete, claims vacuum flask inventor Gerald Yards. Instead, factories will heat any liquid desired to any wanted temperature, where they will be purchased at home - removing the need to have a stove. Meals would be liquid, and sold in his proprietary flasks.
Our interview with Peter and Mary Cury can be read on page six. It is simply too long to fit on our front page. Nevertheless, it was a most illuminating experience.
IN LOCAL NEWS
The noted science fiction writer I. M. Wells has published his latest work: The World That Could Have Been: A Speculative Evolution Of The Races Of Dinosaurs. This is a luxuriously illustrated volume depicting the evolution of dinosaurs had they not strangely perished, and how they may have become endowed with reason. Wells, known for his other works such as The Thinking Machine and Lunar Voyages, has been personally applauded by Isaac Arthur for his fascinating worldbuilding, firm grasp on modern science, and excellent pacing, characterization, and deftness in his storytelling. When asked by The Weekly Technocrat as to the source of his genius, the young visionary told us as follows:
"The secret to my success? A healthy curiosity of the world, and the wonderous mechanisms therein. Men see what there is, and are content to know that it is, but I see what is, and seek to see what could be."
Powerful words.
IN FOREIGN NEWS
The Kingdom of Duom Asderordia has been almost wholly seized by a native invasion from their north! Information is scarce - as this Kingdom is on the very other side of the world, but more information will come soon. Our Grand Chairman has promised to send some troops to the effort, alongside almost every other major power.
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Post by Dunwik on Sept 17, 2021 18:44:46 GMT
THE WEEKLY INFORMER - REQUIRED READING FOR THE CREDULOUS INVESTOR - SERVING THE SHREWD DUNWIKKI FOR 50 YEARS.
The Seventeenth Of September, 70
If you are unable to find the previous 3 printings, please inquire at our offices at Miskatonic.
In Investment News
The market has held steady for the past three weeks, with no major movements in any stock or pricing. However our reporters have seen a surprising amount of investment in Pole Star Shipping. Something big may happen soon in that field
In Scientific News
The advancement of the novel field of psychology continues to progress at breakneck speed and more young doctors, struggling with the difficulties of the fields of chemistry, physics, or the knife, turn to addressing the illnesses of the mind. However, such a field is also rife with quacks. On page 5, learn how to determine if your "shrink" is a nut!
The completion of the world's first "geo-electric" power plant in the land of Heel has provided a wealth of electrical power - Dunwikki lightbulb salesmen are now flocking to that land to hawk their wares there as effectively as they will here. Current documents from the Minister Of Foreign Affairs estimates that Heel will be fully electrified only five years hence, at current rates of construction.
With Goldbridge being the last refuge of the candlemaker, the light of wax has finally been snuffed out in Dunwik proper, at least in the large cities. Electricity is a superior medium for lighting and its applications are seemingly endless.
In Foreign News:
Dunwikki man George Holt narrowly lost the hand - and heart, of the Empress Catherine Von Marcum of the Imperium Divinum in a close multinational contest to wed her. He has declined our request for interview.
The vile communists of Rodina have seized the last of their lands, damning everyone in that desolate northern waste to a sure existence of poverty and misery. Thousands of Rodinans have fled their homeland and are settling across the world. One even made it all the way to Leng, where he has since integrated as a fiery anti-Communist demagogue.
An embargo on the Land Of Heel was created by the nations of the Sadalen and the Cities of Sheen, but was swiftly lifted on relatively minor concessions by the Heelish. Whether this served to escalate or lower tensions is yet to be seen.
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Post by Dunwik on Feb 18, 2023 19:24:19 GMT
THE WEEKLY INFORMER - REQUIRED READING FOR THE CLEVER INVESTOR - SERVING THE SHRED DUNWIKKI FOR 75 YEARS
Eighteenth April, 95.
(If you cannot find the past 25 years of prints, what is wrong with you?)
(It has come to our attention that the word "credulous" now means "gullible", instead of "well-informed" as it used to.)
IN INVESTMENT NEWS
Tollerman Food Co's bold maneuvers with the Sadaler Raikh has lead to fluctuations in the stock of food-related things. Peanut futures are up quite high. Tollerman Food Co. has been a well-performing stock since the beginning of the war in 92, and has only dipped slightly with war's end.
The manufacture of tractors may exceed demand due to the conversion of tank factories. Agricultural and recreational aircraft prices have additionally cratered due to the influx of old war planes.
The planned railways, airports, and seaports in and to North Dunwik are progressing at rapid rates. It is perhaps too late now to invest in those construction companies working on Arthur's infrastructure projects, but mining corporations are poised to exploit the mineral riches of North Dunwik. The shrewd investor will look to tomorrow, not to today.
The post war "slump" in expected stock market performances seems to be fading, says Minister House, in a speech recently delivered. He urges the now-discharged soldier to step out of the uniform and return to the factories. Projections for stock performance are high.
The national debt is gradually being paid off, but Grand Chairman Arthur & Minister House are declaring a "long-term payoff" stratagem where, for the first few years after the war, the governmental budget will be prioritized towards furthering industrial and economic development, to easily pay off the war debt soon.
Construction of the Victory Over Leng monument in Miskatonic is beginning at speed. Grand Chairman Arthur has been under some controversy for suggesting a Divinian firm assist in "aesthetics." However, the diagrams produced have been excellent.
IN SCIENTIFIC NEWS
A torrent of scientific information is being released to the general public! Grand Chairman Arthur himself personally authorized the release of information pertaining to various Army experiments on stress, starvation, and psychology. Journals are being flooded with report after report. Grand Chairman Arthur and Minister Wells project that the understanding generated by the war will eclipse even the security the expulsion of the Lengans has delivered.
Startling developments in physics and rocketry have lead to speculation that manned spaceflight will be possible by the year 130. Minister of Science Alfred Wake has declared a massive $10,000,000 cash prize for anyone demonstrating "technologies that demonstrate potential to allow reliable entry of a vehicle into space."
IN LOCAL NEWS
Oldbridge ace pilot Manfred Brandman has published a tell-all book about his experience in the war. "Death from Above" is a collection of his own recollections, combined with interviews, field reports, and memoirs from various other soldiers in the Army, Air Force, and Navy. A gripping and detailed read, Brandman describes his start as the son of a horse jockey, to his height of being photographed with Grand Chairman Arthur himself and laying the foundations of Dunwikki air combat doctrine. A man dies on almost every page!
Demand for peanut butter has reached unprecedented highs with the end of the war. Peanut butter, a paste made principally of peanuts, salt, and palm oil, entered the army ration in the year 94 as part of Minister Lucas's "Fighting Food" campaign, which sought to increase the convenience, availability, and nutrition of the Dunwikki soldier's meal. While many other foodstuffs produced for the war have fallen out of favor, peanut butter has been a smash hit with the soldiers and their demand for the stuff has only increased. Going off of this, confectioner Reese Howard, in cooperation with Tollerman Food Co, has created a form of candy, consisting of a chocolate outer shell with a peanut butter filling. Coming in either dark chocolate or sweet chocolate, and with the availability of a salted outer shell or a plain one, this versatile candy seems poised to dominate the snack food market.
Science fiction author Alan Babitch and detective pulp author Henry West have entered what we believe will be a long and potentially bloody argument of public letters and books "debunking" one another's literary styles and worldviews. The feud began when Mr. Babitch sent a letter to Mr. West declaring that the latter's style and philosophy were fundamentally anti-Dunwikki. Mr. West responded with a thundering retort laden with strange esoteric terms, declaring Mr. Babitch a "stupid creature" that was "void of imagination or foresight," and elaborated his fervent belief in various spirits. frpfp.boards.net/thread/663/babitch-words-dunwikki-affairs-thread.
The "Nickelodeon" method of film distribution is dead, says the Ministry of the Interior, with "Platthouses", showing longer films in larger venues, having replaced the former method of distribution. The development of superior film technology has allowed for longer movies. Experiments in synching sound to video has continued, but cost-effectiveness seems a decade away, says the Ministry of Science.
The list of things in Dunwik named after Isaac Arthur has surpassed 100,000, reports Arthur fan-magazine The Arthur Times. The claim does have merit. From the massive ocean liner Isaac Arthur one may dock at Arthur Port, head down the Arthur Railway on Arthur Boxcar #7, then disembark at Arthur Station within Miskatonic, located on Arthur Road. Passing the Isaac Arthur Museum, Isaac Arthur Academy of Fine Arts, and Isaac Arthur University In Miskatonic, and then approaching Isaac Arthur's Victory over Leng monument, it does seem the Grand Chairman is fond of his own name.
On the topic, the Isaac Arthur Universities offer a world-class education in the arts or sciences, in exchange for taking upon a large loan that is expected to be paid off. Failure to pay off the loan may result in your surrender to the Academy as a Class II slave in perpetuity, however, so only clever investors should apply.
IN FOREIGN NEWS
Divinian Emperor Florin von Marcum has continued producing a radio show discussing his thoughts of ruling towards the people. While riddled with Divinian superstition, it provides an interesting insight into the mind of this young leader. A surprising torrent of Dunwikki fan mail has started heading towards the offices of von Marcum, inquiring as to the health of Priscilla von Marcum (Formerly Priscilla Clarke, formerly formerly Priscilla Arthur.) The Greater Dunwikki Red Parrot was once the finest product of Grand Chairman Arthur's parrot breeding program, but now she is merely an average bird among the most refined breed. Nevertheless, her colorful history and vocabulary apparently endeared her to the boy Emperor, who purchased her.
The Emperor of Rashad has died at the age of 93, apparently of tuberculosis or lung cancer. More information will be revealed later.
The Cowsuckers are projected to waste somewhere in excess of 3 billion dollars constructing a gigantic fairy castle, referred to as "Neudrachenstein," report Sadaler sources. Eminent psychologist Paul Young has hypothesized that this has arisen as a consequence of their belief in spirits, and he believes that this structure is intended to house various faeries, ghosts, goblins, and presumably the spirits of the Lengans as well. Here's to hoping that the imaginary Lengan spirit that rips people's skin off (before wearing it) finds a happy home.
However, equally eminent psychologist Peter Sampson believes that this is what is referred to as "penis envy." He postulates that the ruling Cowsucker elite have, and it is quoted directly, "a horrific deficiency in the bedroom" and that this gigantic structure is to compensate for having very small 'structures' in the bedroom.
The office of Foreign Affairs has reported that the stated objective of this building is pan-Ostrean sentiment, but why a ton of Moderali jade would be involved in this is a complete mystery.
THE SILLIES
THE MISKATONIC SUN: REQUIRED READING FOR THE CREDULOUS MAN
Maxwell House up to some pineapple business, but we aren't sure what it is just yet.
The Ministry of The Interior has confirmed Maxwell House is doing some shady shit, but exactly what he's doing hasn't been revealed quite yet. Mr. House himself confirmed that he was probably breaking the law in some esoteric way, but further elaborated that any attempt to stop him was completely futile. Grand Chairman Arthur confirmed that House is absolutely engaging in some backroom cloak-and-dagger Loonie nonsense, but has further stated that he isn't exactly sure what House is doing either.
In other news, all the pickled cod has disappeared. Minister House denies any responsibility for this act but we all know it's him.
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Post by Dunwik on May 26, 2024 15:21:19 GMT
THE WEEKLY INFORMER - SERVING THE SHREWD DUNWIKKI FOR 85 YEARS
-Arthur Day, 106
IN INVESTMENT NEWS:
The staggering upward trends associated with Maxwell House's Chairmanship has gradually plateaued as North Dunwik continues growing. Routine artifact transfer to the Divinians likely interferes with further development. The Ministry of the Interior suggests that economic growth will stall for a small period until everything has been "cleaned out."
Platthouse patronage has exploded with the recent popularization of "talkie" films. "The Shot Heard Around The World" - originally an experimental film, has been re-shot and expanded. How fitting, for the first widespread sound in film to be a gunshot!
A scandal has rocked art school patronage, but inexplicably the stocks remain strong. Minister Isaac Arthur has - at least according to a damning expose - been secretly commissioning erotic anthropomorphic parrot art and the bill, cumulatively, is believed to surpass $500,000.
Passenger aircraft are struggling to take off, due to high prices. A new startup, "Equatorial Cruise Aviation" has posited making larger and luxurious planes. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs has suggested that aircraft are still too immature to displace the ocean liner.
A strange string of sabotages and slave revolts has spread amongst plantations in Northern Dunwik. Initially thought to be corporate raids, the Ministry of the Interior has confirmed that the combat is too brutal and the destruction too severe for this to be profit-driven. Some ideological force has appeared there and has thus far evaded capture.
IN SCIENTIFIC NEWS:
Experimental liquid-fueled rockets have advanced at breakneck speed due to extremely generous funding from the Science Ministry. A chimpanzee was bolted into a cabin and entered the upper atmosphere, and survived with only a broken jaw.
Dunwikki/Divinian experimentation on "Penicillium" has stalled due to the loss of a large melon and thus the mold from which this wonder drug is derived. A hasty missive had been sent by the experimenters suggesting caution be used when administering it but demand has consistently outpaced supply.
Scientist Himal Ints has suggested that Uranium's radioactivity could theoretically be controlled with graphite rods to boil water and thus drive a turbine, forming a near-perpetual energy source. Dr. Ints has suggested that Dunwikki oil and coal reserves are finite and thus "noncombustive" forms of electricity generation are necessary. Dr. Ints has also declared that the electric train is the best form of transportation and envisions an "entirely uranic-electric Dunwik" in 20 years.
IN LOCAL NEWS:
The body of Henry West was finally identified by dental records, found near a scrawled manifesto and shattered telephone in a Sheenish colony. The heavily decomposed corpse remained where it lay for what the Foreign Ministry declares was years. The last person to see Mr. West alive had claimed he had absconded with a copy of a film reel and fled north from Dunwik into a small Sheenish port. The film remains divisive, like the rest of Mr. West's work. There has been no official comment from any authority. The death was ruled a suicide.
The "Don's Coalition", an informal club for the middle-class, has emerged and is gaining popularity particularly around the Arkhom region. Our reporters know little else.
IN FOREIGN NEWS:
A "Crusade", or religious gang war, has appeared in Ifriq, spearheaded by the Divinian Emperor Florin. A small Dunwikki force, numbering 6,666 men and one imbecile (for "ritual purposes"), has been sent to observe.
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